Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
