Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
two words...techno handjob
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
