you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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