i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
