Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
