honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
that's an acceptable place to lick
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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