sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
