yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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