he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My vagina just recognized that song.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
