someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
