My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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