Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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