i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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