Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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