im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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