U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
