Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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