Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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