Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
