Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
