you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
