just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
