Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry

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(815): View more from Illinois

Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?

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(217): View more from Illinois

i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.

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(404): View more from Georgia

"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made

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(253): View more from Washington

so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning

(1-253): View more from Washington

because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'

(253): View more from Washington

no more ever clear

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(260): View more from Indiana

I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"

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(819): View more from Quebec

What the fuck were you guys talking about?

(1-819): View more from Quebec

Lube wrestling.

(819): View more from Quebec

Oh, makes sense.

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