Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
