ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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