Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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