so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
