school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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