So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
wow bdsm is so cute
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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