Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize