Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
