Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
