i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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