it hurts more in the daytime
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
