my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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