great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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