I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
