she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
