haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
