are you still at the devil's house?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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