he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
