I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
