Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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