STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
