yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
