I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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