She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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