I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sext me about skeletons
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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