Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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