Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
