capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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