you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
