its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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