They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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