would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
