Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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