Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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